Feedback is a massive part of writing, unfortunately feedback can often hurt a writer’s pride and even damage their passion for writing. In life you have to give feedback, whether that be in a class when you have to review a peer’s paper, or when a friend asks you how they drive, giving good feedback is a key skill to have. Giving feedback is relatively easy, giving good feedback is not. As easy as it is to judge someone and tell them exactly what you think, that does not always lead to good, useable feedback and it is all too common that someone is offended or hurt by feedback that could be considered harsh. Personally I have had to give feedback quite commonly and have found a philosophy that I find works for me and does not leave anyone else’s feelings hurt. When I give feedback I have found that it is best to think about what you really want to say, and then filter it before you say it. As children we often learn to say “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” or some similar version of that sentiment. While we may have rolled our eyes at this as children, I find it incredibly true in how I give feedback. As a person, you can think whatever you want, but when a person puts themselves in a vulnerable enough position to ask you to judge something about them it is a very different thing to say exactly what you think. To put your thoughts through a filter means being able to give meaningful feedback, but also spare someone else’s feelings being hurt. While some may think hurtful feedback is okay and can be useful I have found that it is often rejected on the basis that it is not constructive, while when the feedback is kind and seems as if it is coming from a place of honesty rather than annoyance it will be taken better and whoever you give it to will use the feedback more often.
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